Type A Wedding: Day 3

July 24, 2012.

Today was a day of forgetting.  I forgot a few things at work, and I forgot who I have contacted about some things.  I think I just have too much going on.  I finish work tomorrow and then hit the road to attend a wedding, this is where my fiance and I will also reunite after a few weeks.  Looking forward to this.  Planning a wedding when your partner lives further away is difficult.  We have often mentioned that some things have been "anti-climatic" and not we had expected.  I guess this situation is different and we are about to begin some exciting times.  Starting the countdown off with a road trip!!  One our favourites.  Come with us please, we're looking forward to new planning and preparation adventures as we head out onto the road, a road for many destinations. 

Type A Wedding: Day 2

Well today was great, gave me some good insight.  No insight about weddings in particular, but in my own personal life.  A psychologist spoke about some research she has been doing with mindfulness.  What an interesting thing, however, it seems difficult to so many.  We spoke about the DOING mode versus the BEING mode. We did some relaxing exercises where we were asked to visualize and really focus on sights, sounds, textures, etc.  The point of this was to compare what we observe when we live a life on "auto-pilot," the DOING.  What I come to realize is that hours, days, and sometimes weeks pass and I have observed virtually none of this because I let the DOING mode take over and forget what is around me, simple things, things I can touch, look at, enjoy everyday, but don't.  We spoke about how sometimes we do things repetitively and call them chores, the example used was gardening.  We know we plant things to make our yards and houses look nice and colourful in the summer months, however, they require care.  This is work, we water them, pull weeds and trim them, however, this is where it ends.  The story we were hearing about described a lady who went from the DOING mode to the BEING mode and was able to really enjoy the experience.  SHe described the sights and sounds around her, she truly began to be in the garden and became mindful to the world around her that she rarely stops to observe.  I thought, wow, and today, I felt kind of weird.  I cannot described it but it was difficult for me to really stop doing and start being, but I was trying and I was realizing that many of the things that stress me out, are really interesting, funny, enjoyable, etc.  I am truly thankful for this recognition, it couldn't have appeared at a better time.

Type A Wedding: Day 1

All that is going through my mind is SEATING PLAN.  Will it get done?  Of course, it has to.  When my fiance reassured me about getting it done together, and that it will be no problem, which it probably will not be, what did I do?  I continued to plan for when we can do it and how we will do it.  I had to cut myself off and tell myself, this is not something you should lose sleep over.  This is one task that can be done in a few hours (or less).  No problem, my mind was eased thanks to a patient partner and some self-talk.  Off to the cafe I went to use the internet to do some emailing, catching up, the usual.  About an hour at the cafe, I had not touched my drink and was knee deep into crunching numbers for the seating plan.  Seriously though, what is wrong with me?  I came to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with the seating plan, it has all to do with myself thinking that its 2 weeks before the wedding and I SHOULD be busy doing things.  But, I realize, that could it be that we are organized and we have some time to complete things.  While my fiance is out on the road with some friends for another wedding, my mind is racing thinking I need to be compensating for us not being able to work on things together the past few weeks. Why do I feel I need to take on things alone for something that involves two people equally?  Because I am miss independent and I like to be in control.  Time let up on that control, not just for wedding planning but for our new partnership. I started chatting with him on the computer and he kindly allowed me to make somewhat of a schedule for when he returns and we hit the road for our own wedding. I felt better seeing that there was a PLAN in front of me and was able to give up some of my control over this.  I packed up and went home and spent the rest of the day with me.

Type A Wedding: The Countdown

First of all, when I look back on my life I laugh at all the times I recall saying, "I'm just fine on my own," and "I don't have a desire to be married."  I was right back then, however, things have changed.  I have met and fell in love with a wonderful person and he is like no one I have ever met before.  The love I receive and feel for him is so real, yet such a mystery.  We drive each other mad at times but are able to patch things up.  Some of the things I have done and said to him would have driven other guys away and probably vice versa.  So there ought to be a reason we are together and there must be a reason why we are best friends…..

I am a Type A personality, I would say.  I can be laid back, but that isn't something that comes first for me, I like to have a plan, I worry, and I predict things that I think are going to happen.  Sound familiar?  If anyone who has these traits in common with me, you may understand these characteristics and have some of the same thoughts going through our head as we approach a big event, such as, a marriage.  I am 13 days away from being married to the greatest man, and would like to journal with my readers a little of what goes through my head each day as it approaches. Some things may be as simple as wedding details and plans and some might be deep feelings I am experiencing about being married.  I hope this reassures others who are headed in this direction, that they are not crazy, it happens, and we get over the worry and fears and neurotic tendencies.  Let's just make a pack though;  we are in relationship with our love who with God, we are taking the path into an exciting new land where it can look dark and there will be great light, but we chose one another because of something incredibly special, someone who will continue to love us despite our Type A'ness.